The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Don't Eat The Cookie Dough!! | Top |
| If you get the craving to eat cookie dough this weekend, lick this picture and don't eat the real thing or you may doody until you dieeeeeee. Nestle has recalled a bunch of their cookie dough products after 66 people in 28 states got sick with E. coli. This is serious. I just ate Nestle cookie dough a couple of weeks ago. RAW. If my ass starts leaking non-stop, I won't be so quick to blame it on my extra-curricular activities. Nestle is begging you not to eat their products raw or cooked! Normally, the heat would kill the bacteria, but Nestle isn't fucking around. If you have a bunch of Nestle cookie dough in your freezer, you can return it to your grocery store for a full refund. This weekend the grocery stores are totally going to be full of single depressed ladies trading in their unused cookie dough for SnackWells. Why do they always recall delicious things? They never recall crap like peas or multi-grain Cheerios. You know, shit I wouldn't even eat if it was laying on Prince Hot Ginge's peen (I'm lying). I always eat raw cookie dough. I tell myself that I'm going to bake it like a normal person, but then suddenly the bowl is empty and I have the guilties. And I hope Bradley Cooper doesn't dump Jennifer Aniston this weekend or she is TOTALLY FUCKED. | |
| George Clooney Checks In With His Dead Pet Pig | Top |
| George Clooney once said that his longest relationship was for 18 years with his pet pig Max. They were so close that Georgie even let Max sleep in his bed every now and again. That makes my tail curl and not in a good way. Max went off to the great big shit pen in the sky in 2006 which left Georgie with a case of the serious SADS. Recently, George wondered how Max is doing up there in heaven, so he hired a psychic to speak to his pig friend. George apparently told a friend, "The psychic told me Max had a great life with me. He is very happy in spirit and still hangs out with me sometimes. I am not sure she was telling the truth but I do want to believe her." Of course the psychic bitch is going to tell George that Max misses him. What the hell is she going to say? That the angels turned him into bacon? But seriously, Max and George had a beautiful thing together. The skanks trying to land George should take note. George loves it when you squeal until your vocal cords pop. He also loves it when you take up the whole bed and keep him up half the night with your loud farting. And if you eat your own caca, he'll fall desperately in love with you. Well, pigs do that! Don't blame me. Blame pigs! | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment