The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| The Cast Of Jersey Shore Is Coming Back For More (That Rhymes!) | Top |
| Brace your genitals for another outbreak! MTV officially announced last night that Jersey Shore will be back for a second season. Pat, don't scratch when it starts to itch. DJ Pauly D, Snooki Loompa, The Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie, Vinny and JWoww have all signed on the dotted line. Angelina (the buzz killer whose luggage set is made by HEFTY) wasn't asked back. This is what MTV had to say for themselves: " Our audience has fallen in love with Jersey Shore and its amazing cast who have really grown together as a family. That bond gives the show its heart, and we're thrilled to reunite these friends to bring fans more of what they love — laughs, love, drama and of course, GTL ." TMZ reported a while ago that the whores of Jersey Shore turned down MTV's initial offer of $5,000 per episode. MTV eventually raised their offer to $10,000 per episode and told the cast they wouldn't go any higher than that. Who knows what they eventually settled on, but I'm sure Snookers is making enough money to keep her pickle jar full at all times. MTV also added that the cast will leave the Northeast and go to a different location for season 2. Did you hear that, world?! NOWHERE IS SAFE. Get all your shots and stock up on booze, because your town might get hit next. Speaking of getting hit, hopefully Snooki will practice ducking on Wii boxing before shooting begins. And here's some pictures that will definitely make you itch. It's JWoww looking as elegant as a middle-aged truck stop prosty at some club on Long Island the other night. | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Twixx , the horny ass owl who is making his neighbors angry with his loud cries for sex! 12-year-old Twixx lives in a cage in the garden outside of his owner's house in England. Mrs. Whitfield, Twixx's owner, says she's never had complaints about Twixx's roars for owl pussy before, but recently it's become a problem. After a bunch of neighbors complained, the city council warned Mrs. Whitfield that if Twixx doesn't stop moaning for sexy times he'll have to find another place to live. Mrs. Whitfield doesn't know what to do, because she doesn't think she can find him another home due to his old age. She's afraid that she might have to put him down!!!! It gets worse. Twixx's mating wail has attracted a wild female owl who is into his shit. The lady owl hangs out by Twixx's cage batting her eyelashes and puckering her beak. But Mrs. Whitfield is afraid to let him out, because she knows he won't survive in the wild. So imagine if someone Boxing Helena-ed you, and then waved a 9" inch dick just a few feet from your mouth. THE AGONY! Seriously, this is sadder than a lesbian clown without a dildo. Poor Twixx! He just wants to pop his Tootsie roll! Can't Mrs. Whitfield make him an Owl real doll using a stuffed animal? Can't she let the lady owl into Twixx's cage so he can get a proper beak job finally? Twixx just can't go to heaven without getting his fuck on first. Hoot. Hoot. And I couldn't find video of Twixx bawling for bagina, but just imagine the sounds Sienna Miller's snatch would make if it wasn't kissed by a peen head for more than 8 hours. Here's a few more pictures of sex-starved Twixx with his equally ravishing owner Mrs. Whitfield. Maybe Mrs. Whitfield can let Twixx motorboa.....I'll stop. | |
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