The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Blaaaaake No More | Top |
| Amy Wino has been seen on the streets of London with a piece who looks like he doesn't reek of Port-A-Potty water and dog sweat (see pictures of the two here ), so this is an upgrade for her. Or if she gets the tingles for bitches who smell like Port-A-Potty water and dog sweat, then this is a downgrade for her. Anyways, Wino and film director/producer Reg Traviss have been bumping assholes for a few weeks now. They were introduced by a mutual friend, because they live down the street from one another. Wino was planning to re-marry Blaaaaaake a few months ago, but she's sent him back to the septic tank from which he came from and now she's resting her crackhive in Reg's lap every night. A source tells The Sun , " He's a decent bloke with his feet firmly on the ground. He's cultured and talented and they talk and laugh about all sorts. And they are openly affectionate in front of friends and family now too." Wino's father Mitch got two young kids to help his fat ass up onto his soap box so he could say that he approves of her new boyfriend, " I'm happy she's got a new boyfriend. I'm happy she's moving on with her life. He's a normal bloke, very nice. " Dating a dude who most likely wipes his ass crack after he cacas and doesn't break all your light bulbs to smoke crack out of them is a nice change for Wino. And somebody should tell her that when she goes down on Reg and doesn't come up with a mouth full of scab skin, that's normal. No matter what Blaaaake told her. | |
| Peta's Newest Arch Rival | Top |
| When Brooke Shields steps out in public, she better watch out for falling flour factories and tidal waves of red paint, because Peta is sharpening their shanks as I type! Seriously, if Brooke thought the voicemails Tommy Girl left saying " glibglibglib " over and over were bad, then she hasn't seen shit yet. Brooke recently traveled to Denmark to fulfill her childhood dream of designing a fur coat. HA. YES, as that bitch sat on her potty training potty, dream bubbles filled with images of her handling dead animal pelts danced over her head. Was she Alexis Carrington or Cruella de Ville as a child?! Actually, my childhood dream was to be Alexis Carrington when I grow up, so I understand where Brooke is coming from (not really). While making her very own coat at the Kopenhagen Fur Studio, Brooke spoke to the IFTF Blog about how she gets a boner for fur. She told them, " Wearing fur may be associated with something grandmotherish. Something you wear when you visit the opera, or if you are a rock star and wear it inside out. But I will advocate that both my generation and the younger generation can wear fur. I will wear the fur garment when I follow my children to school, when I drink coffee and when I sleep ." Then she took a piece of fur, caressed her genital area with it and said , " My only true love, darling. I live for furs. I worship furs! After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn't? " I mean, what is Brooke going on about? So she likes fur coats, okay. But sleeping in her fur coat? Drinking Sanka in it? Her unquenchable thirst for fluffy animal fur has made her crazier in the brains. Forget what Tommy Girl said! Eat a med, Brooke. And you can eat it while wearing your fur coat if that helps. | |
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