The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- On The Eighth Day God Created....
- And Yet Kelly Bensimon Is Still Roaming Free
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For June 1st!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| On The Eighth Day God Created.... | Top |
| This is apparently a leaked ad for McDonald's newest attack on your digestive system: THE MCRIBBLES (which is also the sound your asshole is going to make after eating this mess). It's the McRibs bastard love child who is also made out of corn syrup, beef-flavored corn syrup, bone-flavored corn syrup, corn syrup-fed worms and hair from Ronald McDonald's dick bush for coloring. As much as I would love to bite through the fake bone in the McRibble and listen to my bowls weep for their future while it slides down my froat, it's still not perfect. It needs several pieces of processed cheese, bacon, McNugget crumbles, fries and a few Big Mac patties on top of it. Then throw it in the deep fryer and you've got perfection personified! The angels would hold it above their halos and declare it their new savior! Or Satan's minions would declare it their new savior. I don't know, one of those. And hopefully, they will sell this in France because it's the perfect thing to nibble on when you tell your father that you like peen. via Gorilla Mask | |
| And Yet Kelly Bensimon Is Still Roaming Free | Top |
| Sonja Morgan , the proud slut and drunk of The Real Housewives of NYC , was thrown into a cop car early Monday morning after she drove through a stop sign at 2:16 a.m in Southampton, Long Island. Sonja got an F on her sobriety test, and refused to put her lips on a breathalyzer, so she was arrested for DWI. A source tells the New York Post that Sonja was partying all weekend. In Sonja's defense, if you had to be around that pack of crazy hyenas all the time you'd be sucking that bottle non-stop too. Sonja is easily my favorite bitch on that show, because she loves kissing booze as much as she loves kissing peen, but I don't understand why in the hell she was driving. Sonja used to be married to J.P. Morgan's great-grandson, so she's got money falling out of her ass. Why drive yourself? Driving is hard! Based on Countess LuMann's broke down video and song, it's obvious she needs fast cash, so Sonja could've hired her as a driver. Mah friends. | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For June 1st! | Top |
| With allergy season at its worst in years, there have been some changes around the Aniston household - sketts Runners-up: I've never seen so many wrinkled pussies in one place without a bingo game going on. - OurMissC Unlike Lindsay's, these hairless pussies have never had coke snorted off of them. - Way I hate when Madonna, Priscilla Presley, Donatella Versace and all their friends' plastic surgery warranties expire. - Melinda (Thanks Adam) | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Michele Kleier , the star of HGTV's Selling New York ! Some hos can't fall asleep without an Ambien paying a visit to their tongue, but my ass can't drift off into the land of Mah Boos and Rojos (aka dreamland) without watching HGTV. So of course, I'm totally going around with Selling New York, which is a show about fancy real estate agents selling fancy real estate in NYC and beyond. One of the head property pimps on that show is Michele Kleier, the matriarch of GHK Realty . Michele is not only a professional at walking through houses and commenting on everything (" Oh, look you have a view of a tree!" , " Oh, look you don't have to eat with the help! " etc...), but she always looks like she just fell out of a JcPenney Salon circa 1988. The eyebrows are fresh, the lips are frosty and every single follicle is covered in something that comes out of a Vidal Sassoon bottle. I bet Michele even sleeps in her St. John suit (purchased at Nordstrom Rack, thankyouverymuch). I would let her show me apartments I could never afford even if I sold all my relatives' organs just so I could breathe in her Giorgio perfume. You know, Michele looks like she bathes in perfume, so I can probably smell her if I just stick my head out the window and direct my nose towards the wind. | |
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