The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Justin Bieber, Noted Author | Top |
| 16-year-old Justin Bieber barely learned his ABC's last month, but he's still going to sit down at the little table in the classroom and write his riveting memoirs using big crayons and construction paper. The Lesbeaver's illustrated autobiography titled Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story (aka The Double Colon Book) will come out this October. Don't expect full chapters on the moment Justin learned that poop floats in the water sometimes. No, Justin has a mind and he's not afraid to use it. Here's a few examples of how deep Justin gets: "It's kind of hard to balance school and work sometimes. But sometimes, like, if I'm going to the White House and I'm in there doing a tour and stuff, that's like school." "I'm just a regular 16 year old kid. I make good grilled cheese and I like girls." "People write to me and say, 'I'm giving up, you're not talking to me.' I just write them a simple message like, 'Never give up,' you know? And it changes their life." Okay, okay, Justin's autobiography is basically going to be like flipping through your friend's " My Baby's First Time " book. | |
| Michael Lohan Catches Another One | Top |
| Michael Lohan allegedly kicked one of his girlfriends in the bagina and he recently busted another one in the head , so I don't know why this LiLo-ish trick right here is kissing up on him in public. Okay, I do know why. We all know why.Whoring for camera clicks. But she really needs to look deep into the mirror the next time she's re-applying her Wet 'N Wild frosted pink lipstick and ask herself if she really thinks boning Michael Lohan is going to take her places. SPOILER ALERT: It isn't. Dating that queef bag will only get you a 2-minute interview with Radar after he allegedly karate chops you in the clit and/or allegedly leaks pictures of your snatch onto the internet. Homegirl needs to aim higher (which isn't hard since The Situation is higher than Michael Lohan). But if she insists, then she might as well fill out a restraining order right now to save her some time later. And on top of all that, she's mouth humping that roadkill parrot while he's got his cell phone clipped to his waistband! That's the worst part. Us sluts have got to do better. Here's more of Michael Lohan at some event in the Hamptons this past weekend with his new piece and Alex and Simon from The Real Housewives of NYC. | |
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