The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Aaaaand It's Over | Top |
| A few weeks ago, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston conjured up a wave of eye rolls by declaring their recycled love for each other on the cover of UsWeekly . While Bristol and Levi counted their cash on the table, they said something about how they were getting married soon...blah...barf...blah. But cancel the taxidermy wedding cake topper, because Bristol has run off to People to tell them that the wedding is dead! Bristol has quit Levi, because she says he's more interested in humping the spotlight than humping on her. Speaking from her glass house while holding a giant pot, Bristol said, "It's over. I broke up with him. The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family. He's just obsessed with the limelight and I got played. Through this whole experience I know I need a man who's going to be completely honest with me and someone who loves me and Tripp and wants to be with him all the time. I also want someone who has religious beliefs and a good family ." What Bristol is really trying to say is that they expected to get a 6-figure reality show deal out of this charade. But when the only deal that landed in their inbox was for a pack of Pampers per episode from Wasilla Public Access, Bristol said fuckit and bounced. And Bristol needs to stop it with this " I got played" shit. The only bitch here that got played is me, because I'm writing about it! You got played too, because you're reading about it. Hell, the only bitches that aren't getting played are Bristol and Levi. All of us should be on the cover of People with the tagline, " WE GOT PLAYED! " | |
| Gisele Bundchen Would Like To Clear Up The Whole "Breastfeeding Law" Thing | Top |
| Remember how Gisele Bundchen said that mothers who don't breastfeed their babies should be shackled and thrown into prison for the rest of their lives? And remember how you drove by Gisele's house last night and threw out a titty balloon full of spoiled milk with a note attached that read " Breastfeed on this so your bitch ass can shut up already! ". Remember that? If you don't, you should go suckle on a bottle of Ginkgo, because this happened yesterday so your memory might be going. But I'm disgressing all over the place again! Gisele went on her blog last night to clarify the " there should be a worldwide breastfeeding law" comment she made to Harper's Bazaar UK. Gisele wrote: My intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with the law. It comes from my passion and beliefs about children. Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be the best for my child. It's unfortunate that in an interview sometimes things can seem so black and white. I am sure if I would just be sitting talking about my experiences with other mothers, we would just be sharing opinions. I understand that everyone has their own experience and opinions and I am not here to judge. I believe that bringing a life into this world is the single most important thing a person can undertake and it can also be the most challenging. I think as mothers we are all just trying our best. The next time Gisele doesn't LITERALLY mean something, she should use the word LIT-TERALLY in front of it so we know not to take her statement seriously. Chupa knows what I'm talking about: I literally want to a pass a worldwide law to literally force Chupa Zoe to literally never say the word literally again. via UsWeekly & Jezebel | |
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