The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Putting On Clothes Is Confusing | Top |
| There's nothing better than a boozy pepaw sexing it up in a black speedo. Actually, yeah there is. A boozy pepaw sexing it up in a black speedo while trying to put his pants on as a shirt is even better. The bitches around his ass agree with me. Those whores are having the time of their lives. Even a little boy runs by recording this mess on his phone. They are all acting like this shit has never happened to them. It happens to everyone! Right? One time I was at some trick's house, wasted out of my brains. If you put a Brethalyzer near my asshole, I would've farted a 1.2 or more. Drunk. Well, when fucky times was over, I started to put myself together for the 4am walk of shame. Getting dressed while drunk is never easy, especially when it's at some strange whore's apartment. It's confusing! After about a minute or two of trying to get dressed, the mofo started laughing hysterically. I thought to myself, "It's just a growth. Get over it ." But quickly realized that I was putting on my pants as a shirt just like the sexy pepaw above. I told the whore to shut the hell up and then said, "It also doubles as a shrug, you dumbass. " That's exactly what this sexy pepaw should've done. Worn that shit as a shrug and stomped off. Some people really don't understand fashion. Source VIA Buzzfeed | |
| The Divorce Duet Didn't Happen | Top |
| A couple of months ago there was a rumor that gay ass JLo and the keeper to the underworld Skeletor would sing a farewell duet to their marriage on Valentine's Day at Madison Square Garden in NYC. Well, that shit never happened. Instead, JLo and Skeletor dragged the Dragon Twins on stage to show everyone what a big happy fucking family they are. I think the whole audience turned to stone when the BABIES!! came out. I mean, they pretty much look like Skeletor in baby form. Except they each weigh more than his ass. This is some SKELETOR ANTHONY'S shit. Yeah, that didn't work, but I to give a shot. The Dragon Tales twins look confused, because they have no idea who those people are holding them. After the concert, JLo and Skeletor went our to dinner. Well, she ate the menu and he snacked from a bag of children's nails he always keeps with him. JLo's looking a little swollen in the baby housing area. It's probably nothing. Her ego has just settled in her belly. It's trying to escape through her poon. Even it doesn't want to be around her fake ass. And let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence to honor the dead pigeons on JLo's nasty ass heels. | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Nannerpuss or is it Nanerpuss? - Star of one of Denny's commercials! Does anyone else think Nannerpuss is kind of phallic? Bitch is a one eyed banana. Peen anyone? My mind always goes there. But seriously, I feel like I should really take a hit of acid to fully enjoy this. And the Nannerpuss song has officially moved into my head for the day. For A, Ted & Diana | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
| Matt Groening (55) Jenna Morasca (28) Conor Oberst (29) Brandon Boyd (33) Omarosa (35) Miranda July (35) Sarah Wynter (36) Alex Borstein (38) Jane Child (42) Christopher McDonald (54) Jane Seymour (58) Melissa Manchester (58) Marisa Bersenson (62) | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment