The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| The CAPTION THIS Contest For March 27th! | Top |
| Thanks Tony | |
| R.I.P. Kim Zolciak's Blog | Top |
| Bow your head, hold your hands together and softly sing an acoustic version of Tightrope in your best walrus on his death bed voice, because the internet is losing one of its most poignant and illustrious blog stars. It was announced that Kim Zolciak has been evicted from the internet. DAMN YOU, ECONOMY! You've gone too far. When Kim shakes out her wig for an Her former publicist wrote a final post proclaiming they have ended their war against each other, but also sadly said her blog will be executed and thrown off the tightrope this Monday. I think he's going to feed it to her rabid dog wig. That's okay, I've already memorized most of it anyway. By most of it, I mean the comments. Seriously, my soul is weeping at the thought of all the future amazing comments we're all going to miss out on. Every fucking comment is like " YOU CUNT" or " You suck, fat whore! " It's like reading my future obituary. Peace out, Kim Zolciak's blog. I wish I could give you a quarter to pay your bill, but I just can't fucking be bothered. If only creditors accepted desperation as payment (you can decide who that was directed towards). | |
| I'm Begging You For Mercy! | Top |
| The head bitches in Malawi have spoken! Vadge is indeed in their parts to pick up a little 3-year-old handbag, I mean, a baby named Mercy ! Officials tells UsWeekly that Vadge has been eyeballing Mercy for a while now. Vadge first spotted Mercy during a window shopping trip in Malawi three years ago. An official said, " The adoption is going ahead. It has been at an advanced stage for some time. The girl is from the Mchinji Home of Hope orphanage. She has no father and mother, they both died...We finished the assessment yesterday in readiness for the courts next week ." The only problem Vadge could face is the fact that her roidy pussy is single and free. Another official from the Child Welfare Department in Malawi said they don't really like to send babies to broken homes. I once knew a girl name Mercy in high school. Let me tell you something about this burgundy-haired ho. Bitch wanted to be a chola in a bad way, but she just didn't have the forehead for it. Her upper eye area didn't look right with painted cholita eyebrows. Her forehead was like too short or something. She looked like a Muppet. You have to be born with the right face to hold exquisite eyebrows like that. It's all in the genes. Anyway, this trick stole $5 out of my hand when I was going to buy a lemonade at Hot Dog and a Stick! I never got my lemonade or my big wiener. Mercy, if you're reading this, I got your number bitch! You owe me a hot fucking dog! I'm sure Vadge's Mercy is nothing like my Mercy, but I still want to give her the side-eye just in case. | |
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