The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| The Photoshop Awards: Drew Barrymore On W Magazine | Top |
| W Magazine should have spent less time making Drew Barrymore's face look like it's made out of porcelain and sold on QVC, and more time Photoshopping some VO5 hot oil on her mop. If you want hair like Drew's, just visit a damn barn. Shit. If Drew ever finds herself in the same room as Pony Parker , she shouldn't be surprised when Pony starts snacking on her straw nest. | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Barbie | Top |
| Barbie turns 50 years old and the ho hasn't aged one bit thanks to all that plastic in her face. Barbie was a major part of my childhood. In case you couldn't tell, I played with that slut when I was a young homo. In fact, one of the first things bitches say to me when they meet me is, " You played with Barbies as a child, right? " And how! I had one main Barbie. I stole it from my sister and that skank went everywhere I did. She was also the biggest slut on the block. She effed every G.I. Joe and Transformer doll in the neighborhood. She would sex them without even knowing their names! After a couple of months of doing slut shit with dudes, my Barbie started humping on other Barbies and even my Catra doll. A little while after that, I turned her into a full-on punk dyke by chopping off her hair and using a marker to color it bright green. She met her demise when one of the dumb whores in my neighborhood ran her over with a lawnmower. Poor skank. But she did pass down her life motto to me: Fuck everything and everyone! I'm sure you all have your own Barbie stories, but that skank spread her no-crotch everywhere! Below are some pictures of a life-size Barbie cake in Sydney. That thing still looks more life-like than Nicole Kidman ! | |
| Would You Hit It? | Top |
| I'm totally still in a booze haze from the weekend, because when I first saw the thumbnails of these pictures, I thought it was a topless Skeletor Anthony for a quick second. It wasn't a surprise to my that the police were chasing his ass, because a half-nekkid Skeletor is illegal. I was afraid that when I clicked for the full size, my stomach would pop out of my ass. Luckily, it was Gavin Rossdale instead. 43-year-old Gavin aired his sexy shit out while filming the music video for " Forever May You Run" in Los Angeles yesterday. It goes without saying, but I'd jump on Gavin's machine head so fucking fast. However, I'd have to talk to that pube bush on his chest first. They shouldn't be commiserating in one place like that. Spread the hairy love! | |
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