The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- You Too Can Look Like A Rabies Infested Raccoon Died On Your Head
- OctoCrazy: The Movie
- Our Lady Of Cheetos Is Back!
| You Too Can Look Like A Rabies Infested Raccoon Died On Your Head | Top |
| In the new issue of some shit called Hype Hair Magazine , Kim Zolciak of The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta gives hair tips. HAIR TIPS! Push me off the fucking tightrope, because I've heard it all! Kim forgot to mention a few very important tips to getting her signature look. After you "release the curls, " take the wig off your head, put it in a bag, go outside, find a rabid raccoon, throw it in the bag, walk to your dryer, toss the bag in and tumble on high for 45 minutes. When the timer goes off, pull your wig out (the raccoon should still be attached) and plop it on your head. Voila! (Thanks Carol) | |
| OctoCrazy: The Movie | Top |
| No, this post isn't about Crazy Baby Lady spreading her octopussy in a porn movie. This might be worse. TMZ says that some bitch is currently trying to whore out OctoCrazy's birth tape for around seven figures. No, the horror show wasn't directed by Eli Roth , but somebody shot that shit in the delivery room with OctoCrazy's blessing. Seriously, that is some Hostel shit right there. A blood bath to rival all blood baths. I'm not going to lie, I'd watch it. I bet that when the doctor cut into her Audrey II, a white flag from her womb popped up. Then the doctor and his staff had to wrestle the babehs out, because they refused to come out. They knew what kind of craziness they were getting into. If that fuckery is too much for you, just search "dog giving birth to litter" on YouTube . It's probably less gory and a furry dog friend is much more pleasant to look at than OctoCrazy. | |
| Our Lady Of Cheetos Is Back! | Top |
| WTF?! Chester the Cheetah , is that you?! Noooooo. Brit Brit would never be that cruel. Chester is her first love! Did they have a fight? Did he do her wrong? No, that must be Chester's arch rival, Chesley , on top of Brit's head. You know, the pussy who almost got the Cheetos job. Chester brought his head on a silver-plated platter and crowned Brit the Cheeto Queen! So, if you got a Cheeto for every time you heard "Brit Brit's back ," you would be drowning in processed cheese sticks. That shit would be all up in your possum pie and glazed donut hole. Just like Brit Brit! Well, she was kind of back last night at the opening of her " I'm Takin' Mah Meds" world tour in New Orleans. I scanned the reviews and most of them were the same. They said bitch looked like she didn't want to be there, she walked more than danced and she kind of forgot to mouth some words in certain songs. Apparently, all that Cirque de Cheetos shit distracts from her raw talent. HA. Yes, nobody can lip-synch the jerky out of a song like she can! Based on the pictures, it kind of looks like the matinee of a burlesque show at a downtown Reno, NV casino where you get a steak lunch with every ticket! Either that or it looks like Slutoween at a sorority house. I mean, she's a slutty cop, a slutty ringmaster, a slutty mobster, a slutty Lady CaCa (that's an oxymoron, I know) and so on..... There's a lot of chitterling crotch in these pictures. In case you want to see this shit up close and personal, tickets are still available. Can you believe that it's like $250 if you to stand on the floor? And it's $730 or some shit if you want to sit in a chair on the floor?! All that money goes to KFat's buffet fund. Is this hillbilly crazy charging that much?! Oh, wait.... | |
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