The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Blohan Won't Be Playing Stevie Nicks Anytime Soon | Top |
| I guess Blohan did the wrong shit one day and got the crazy idea to buy the film rights to Stevie Nicks' life story as a vehicle for herself. Like Blo really has the cash to buy that shit. You can't buy the rights to someone's life story with a half-snorted bag of coke and a Red Bell can. Well, maybe Stevie would've accepted that offer back in the early 80s, but not today! When asked by UsWeekly what she thought about Blo playing her in a movie, Stevie said, " Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we'll talk." Stevie totally crushed Blo's dreams which caused her to grab a straw and snort 'em up! Now this isn't such a fucked-up idea! I mean, Blohan is a little too old in the face to even play Stevie today, but after the make-up hos from BENJAMIN BUTTON'S get their hands on her mug, she could totally pull it off. Stevie practically lived on a mountain made of sugar back in the day, so all you gotta do is throw a shawl over Blohan and VOILA! And since Blohan really wants to make the worst movie ever by casting herself as Stevie Nicks, she should go all the way! Heather Mills IS Christine McVie. Joaquin Phoenix IS Lindsey Buckingham. James Haven IS Mick Fleetwood (he has the crazy eyes). Billy Bob Thornton IS John McVie. I'll stop there before a pitchfork-wielding mob of Fleetwood Mac superfans storm my door. | |
| A Casa de Vadge Will Be Built In Malawi | Top |
| A judge in Malawi told Vadge to go fuck herself with her own roidy clit by denying her adoption of Baby Mercy . The judge said that only hos who have lived in Malawi for 18-months or more can adopt a baby. Because of that ruling, Vadge has decided to build a house next to her already planned all-girls school in Malawi. Vadge's recent visit to Malawi wasn't only a baby buying trip. She was also there to oversee construction of her school and she also told her architect to draw up plans for a house. The Sun says, "Madonna has a big, beautiful plot of land over there already. She's planning to build a girl's school in the Chinkhota village and those designs are well under way. But she's gone back to the designers and asked if they could accommodate a family home on the plot or on adjacent land." Why does this remind of Poltergeist ? Probably because Vadge had to shoo away a bunch of villagers to get her claws on that land! The villagers are still pissed because Vadge hasn't compensated them. You know they put a spell on that shit. Vadge is thinking she's slick by building a house there so she can finally get Mercy! Bitch refuses to lose. But Vadge's new house is going to be haunted with the ghosts of all the bitches she sucked the youth out of! Everywhere she turns there will be a Ritchie or a Baby Jesus! Those villagers aren't going to let her win this time! | |
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