The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- The CAPTION THIS Contest For April 21st!
- Wino Blames It On Pasta
- Open Post: Hosted By The Unicorn Memaw
- Butchies Gone Wild
| The CAPTION THIS Contest For April 21st! | Top |
| Wino Blames It On Pasta | Top |
| As if Amy Wino couldn't get even more naturally beautiful, she's now sporting a beauty mark on her leg. A beauty mark that probably matches an open wound on Wonky McValtrex's vag lips. Wino's spokeswhore blamed the burn on a rogue crack pipe boiling pot of pasta. Apparently, Wino was trying to do some cooking shit in St. Lucia when a pot accidentally tipped over and sprayed her leg with hot water. Wino's got enough of the bad shit in her system, so she just shrugged it off, snorted some of the dead skin and went on with her life. Looking at that shit is making my nails crack, but Wino hardly feels any pain! A source told The Sun she's going around the island like nothing, " Amy's wounds looked so painfully sore — she really should cover them up or get herself under an umbrella. They were covered in sand too. We couldn't believe she wasn't keeling over in pain. " Yeah, well, it's a scientific fact that a river full of crack running through your veins kills pain! Every time I see nasty wounds like this, I always want to pour rubbing alcohol over it to watch it sizzle and crack. I bet if I did that to Wino, that shit would light up and everyone in the room would instantly be riding on a white cloud from the contact high. | |
| Open Post: Hosted By The Unicorn Memaw | Top |
| It's a unicornie memaw! This picture is the sole reason for Cornify ! The only. Sadly, the unicorn memaw is no longer frolicing through R obert Pattinson's magical forest hair since she had it removed after 20 years. These are the before pictures. Without Cornify, it sorts of looks like a hard doody is coming out of her head. I bet this happens to Fishsticks Paltrow every time she writes a post on GOOP . VIA Buzzfeed (Thanks Rose) | |
| Butchies Gone Wild | Top |
| Michelle Rodriguez must have not gotten her usual daily dose of twatty milk while at a friend's four-day wedding in the Dominican Republic this weekend, because the dyke went " polar bear stalking " nuts! Page Six says that at the welcome dinner, the bodybuilder bulldog pushed fully-clothed guests into the pool for jizz and giggles. WELCOME! Here's a mouth full of chlorine. Yay! At the bachelorette party the next night, MRod got her peen lips in a twist over the stripper. She reportedly screamed that the wang dancer was "fat and had a small dick." Before she stomped off to find a cunt to bump, she yelled, "This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me. " MRod doesn't like her dicks in size tiny. She likes her dicks turned inside out and pushed into the crotch with a fat clit attached. MRod needs a career change! She needs to go from angry lezzie in movies to angry lezzie at weddings! Most of the weddings I have been to would've been so much better with a mouthy dyke going on about small dicks! MRod will work for Jack and snatch. | |
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