The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- The CAPTION THIS Contest For April 28th!
- Open Post: Hosted By Worm Cat
- And Your Little Dog Too!
- Needed More Of The F-Word
| The CAPTION THIS Contest For April 28th! | Top |
| (Thanks M) | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Worm Cat | Top |
| First there was Maru , the pussy boxer, and now here's WORM CAT ! Worm Cat isn't nearly as much of a showboater as Maru, but she still has skills. The owners say that Worm Cat shimmies into the sleeves of their clothes all on her own! She sort of looks like an uncut peen with a pussy face. Maybe Worm Cat is a huge fan of Yentl and is trying to recreate the poster ? Sign her ass up for the remake! VIA Videogum | |
| And Your Little Dog Too! | Top |
| It all started out as an ordinary Saturday for the always-sexy Dorothy and Lavern Utley of Waterford Township, Michigan. They set up their booth at a local flea market and placed their 6lb chihuahua, Tinker Bell , on the trailer platform when an evil 70-mph wind swept that bitch up and blew her far away! That little chewy-hoo-ha went flying through the air like a Frisbee! This one of the only times I'd be okay with the government putting cameras on every corner to watch our every move, because this magical and hilarious moment needed to be caught on tape! The Utleys spent the next two days frantically searching for their beloved Tinker Bell. They were so desperate that they decided to seek the services of a pet SLYCIC. It's hard to believe, but the pet psychic's skills actually worked. She found Tinker Bell in a wooded area about a mile from the flea market. Dorothy said that despite being hongray and dirty, Tinker Bell was absolutely fine. Tinker Bell went wild when she was reunited with her owners. Poor Tink. She probably cried herself to sleep, because she didn't have Dorothy's gorgeous cholita eyebrows to gaze into before bedtime. Tink snuggled next to fallen pine needles pretending they were Dorothy's eyebrows, but it wasn't the same. I'm happy they are all back together. And somewhere in the world, Parasite Hilton's Tinkerbell is looking up at the sky and thinking, " TAKE ME, WIIIIND...TAKE ME... ." Source: Daily Mail (Thanks Sluttsville) | |
| Needed More Of The F-Word | Top |
| There's always got to be a drunk ass foul-mouthed bitch at every party and at last night's tribute to T om Hank s by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Julia Roberts was that ho. Everyone embrace a fellow drunktardian into our club. When it was Julia's turn to speak about Tom, she loaded her cannon with fuck bombs and aimed it at the audience. Julia's speech sounds like gorgeous music to my ears: (read it in a slurry, burpy voice) " Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita , and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck ?" Julia the went on to talk about Tom's illustrous film career, " I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers ], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! "You in the airport with the accent (she's talking about Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I'm wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you." Before falling off the edge of the stage in a drunken stupor, Julia told the audience, "It's so dark out there, I feel like I'm in space. Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams , are you here?" Julia Roberts is awesome for that. When did Julia Roberts become my auntie giving an impromptu speech about how much she loves her pet ferrett at Thanksgiving dinner after downing a whole box of Franzia? I don't know if that made any sense, because I think I got contact drunk after reading Julia's rant. You know that after she got home, she crawled into bed with her kids and practically suffocated them with her hot booze bref kisses! She slobbered on them and said, "I luuuuvz youuuz sooo soo mu-uuuch." I used to love when my mom did that. Seriously, Julia needs to do shit like this more often! Here's some of the hos who got to witness Julia's ridiculousness last night. | |
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