The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Twin Foals! | Top |
| You know how there were rumors that Matthew Broderick was stepping out on SJP and they were going to quit their marriage? Well, everything's just wonderful now, because they are having twin BAND-AIDS BABIES!!!! Don't worry, SJP's sexy filly body isn't going to get all fat, because they are using a surrogate. A rep for Matthew, 47, and SJP, 44, confirmed the news to E! and said they are having two daughters. The two already have a 6-year-old son named James Wilkie. They had to hire a professional baby oven. They had no choice. I'm sure SJP tried to do sexy times with Matthew, but every time he sees a live vagina, he gets all giggly and then breaks into the title number from " Hello Dolly!" complete with jazz hands galore. He does that whenever he gets nervous. Then SJP neighs to herself and gallops off all frustrated-like. So, this was the only way. | |
| Give A Dog A Bone | Top |
| The island of Maui is still getting violated by HoHan and company. Yesterday, HoHan actually bathed herself in some tide pool with her sister Benjamina Button and other friends. HoHan also made friends with an island dog! Well, it was a one-sided friendship. Methinks he was just waiting for the greasy bone to stop moving so he could bite into it. Luckily, he didn't get his chance or he'd be spitting out dried crack fungus and fan tan smegma for the rest of the week. I know I keep saying that HoHan looks like her diet consists of coke balls, Red Bull, nicotine and Juciy Fruit, but does she really look that beat? I mean, yes she's a crack hit away from looking like a post-Blaaaake Wino and I can count all her rib bones without my contacts on, but is it that bad? Take a good look. A good look...... Okay it is. Now I know why we eat food. Here's more of my own, my love, my precioussssssssss in Hawaii. | |
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