Friday, March 6, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

Wino Charged With Whooping A Trick Top
Last September, Amy Wino punched Sherene Flash in the face after the bitch asked for a picture with her. Sherene obviously isn't fluent in crackie. A bust to the face means " no " in the language of crackhead. Well, Sherene's whiny ass called the police and now Wino has been charged with assault. Wino will have to face a judge later this month. The judge better show up in a Hazmat-made body of armor. The Wino is a champion spitter and those loogies burn! This has to be some sort of fucked up mistake. The Wino is above the law. Sherene Flash is the skank who should be charged with being a dumb bitch. First of all, having the name Sherene Flash is illegal, unless you're a graveyard-shift webcam girl with a comic book obsession. Second of all, Sherene asked for it by making eye contact with Wino! These moronic whores keep making that mistake. One of the rules of life is that when the Wino is in your midst, bury all your crack rocks in the dirt and then don't make any sudden moves. Wino didn't let a little thing called " getting charged with a crime " fuck with her boozing. Last night, she celebrated by getting absolutely obliterated. Even her crackhive looks tanked. The Daily Mail says that at an even at Selfridges last night, Wino smashed drinks on the floor and could barely speak. Then some idiotic motherfucker actually asked her for a picture! They got off lucky because Wino just snarled at them. Here's some pictures of Wino being Wino last night with Nick Grimshaw . Something tells me Nick probably wasn't happy this morning when he woke up with a bad case of meth crotch.
 
What In The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This? Top
Mickey Rourke must have stared in the mirror too long which temporarily blinded him and caused him to accidentally stumble into my abuelita's closet. If Mickey's going to steal my abuelita's " going to the swap meet on a Sunday " look, he needs to do it right. Replace the cap with a pair of post-cataract sunglasses and an L.A. Raiders beanie (which I think she found on the street).
 
Until April Top
Chris Brown put on his pimp best yesterday to face a judge and answer to the two felony charges against him. Instead of entering a plea, his lawyer ho asked the court to postponement that shit until April 6th. The judge agreed, but told Chris, "Mr. Brown, you are not to annoy, harass, molest, threaten or use force or violence against anyone. " That basically means that Chris needs to stay in his room, lock the door, sit in the corner and keep his mouth shut. Bitch didn't listen because he went out boozing last night . It's not known why he wanted to extend his arraignment, but he could be looking to make a plea deal so it doesn't go to trial. RiRi was not in court yesterday, but her lawyer was and told the judge she doesn't want an act of protection. When the judge asked why, her lawyer said, " She did not feel a stay-away order was necessary. " Not only does she need an order of protection, but homegirl also needs an order of WAKE THE FUCK UP and a piping hot order of therapy. Oh and she also needs an order of ENOUGH the movie. It's JLo's finest work. RiRi needs a Jupiter in her life.
 
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 5th! Top
As Harry lay at the bottom of the jacuzzi drowning, he started thinking that the Baby Ruth in the pool gag probably wasn't such a good idea when the KFC owner's convention is in town. - DUDE Runners-up: A microscopic view of a pimple on Jessica Simpsons ass. - Manimal 5 George Bush recalls how he met Laura: "And then we all counted to three so Laura could put her hands down and fill up the tub." - Hoozer Girls Gone Whaled - WTFOMGLOL VIA Break ( Thanks Rae )
 
Hot Slut Of The Day! Top
The Charmings , the entire TV show - This was the biggest piece of TV shit from the 80s, but it's a million times better than half the crap that's on now. The show's premise was simple: Snow White and her Prince Charming were magically transported to 1987 California. The hottest bitch on the show had to be the evil Queen Lillian played by Judy Parfitt. Every evil queen should wear shoulder pads. Unfortunately, this show only lasted two seconds if that. They really don't make shit like this anymore.
 

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