The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- PRAYER CIRCLE FOR CHICKEN CUTLETS!!!!!!!!!
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
- Afternoon Crumbs
- Needed More Of The F-Word
| PRAYER CIRCLE FOR CHICKEN CUTLETS!!!!!!!!! | Top |
| This is the status note international supermodel and Hot Babe of the Millenium , Phoebe Price , just left on her Facebook. There's no time to cry! Pray that not one cutlet was harmed on PP or Mama Cutlet's beautiful faces. Not one. Drop whatever dick you're sucking, run to the freezer, get out all your chicken cutlets and carefully place them around your Phoebe Price shrine. If you don't already have a PP shrine, slap yourself and then create one fast. All together now! Light all the candles, hold two cutlets and pray, pose, pray, pose, pray, pose, pose, pray.... | |
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
| Which messy tabloid favorite who thinks she's a rock-style icon (actually she just married shrewdly) is known for calling journalists in a pill-haze and ratting out her celebrity friends? She has some especially good stories about her famous pals The Shoplifter and also The Godmother Of Her Child. ( Ben Widdicombe VIA CDAN ) Is this even considered a blind item?! Who is Crackie Love, Wino Ryder and Drew Barrymore ? Which Oscar winner's girlfriend won't let him get to third base? She's afraid of STDs. ( Gatecrasher ) Jamie Foxx or Ernest Borgnine ? Which celeb parents tell their kid coke marks on the table after dinner parties are lines of baking powder used for cookie baking? ( 3am Girls ) Wait. That's what my mom used to tell me.....My guess is Kerry Katona and her husband? And you're supposed to lick the table after every serving. DUH. While the breakup of this couple seemed amicable, behind the scenes… not so much. Party 1 blames the other for their career having stalled out while they were together. Party 2 works through friends to warn their ex-mate's current dates about diseases they may contract through intimate contact. ( Blind Gossip ) Vadge & Guy ? Or Wonky & Benji ? Friday night at The Grove. Movie theatre is packed to see Obsessed. The lights are down, the movie is about half way, when a cell phone stars ringing. Not vibrating, but ringing. One of those really loud ringing ones for people who like to hear it from a mile away. Everyone is looking around to see who the culprit is. This used to be an A list, Oscar nominated movie actress who now really doesn't work except for keeping her husband glued to her, starts digging through her purse. It is still ringing. She finally gets the phone out of the purse. What would you do if this were you? You would turn it off. Our actress, says, "Hello." And then has a one minute conversation before hanging up. Yeah, I can't wait to see her at the premiere of the next movie her husband does, and get everyone to start talking on their cell phones ( CDAN ) Why none other than Tess McGill aka Mrs. Antonio Banderas ? TMZ had a clip on their show of Melanie acting a fool while leaving The Grove on Friday. PROOF! | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
| Jennifer Aniston is kissing a real-life man.... who isn't made out of plastic... and isn't wearing a picture of Brad Pitt on his face! And not just any man, but Jason Fucking Bateman ! - Lainey Gossip Do you really want to hurt me with that eyeshadow, Xtina ? - Hollywood Tuna What What In The Butt : Israeli Army Soldier-style - Towleroad CLOSE THE BORDERS: Heidi and Spencer are basking in the swine flu air in Mexico - Egotastic! RPattz and Brooke Shields are totally doing it - Popsugar She-pig is one sexy swine - Best Week Ever Megan Fox wearing almost every sorority girl's Whore-o-ween costume - Popoholic Scary Spice indeed and I'm referring to her abs (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather Thee BITCH is about to retire - Hollywood Rag Carol Channing Tatum O'Neal might be in a Twilight movie - Just Jared Swine flu buzzkill - Cityrag | |
| Needed More Of The F-Word | Top |
| There's always got to be a drunk ass foul-mouthed bitch at every party and at last night's tribute to T om Hank s by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Julia Roberts was that ho. Everyone embrace a fellow drunktardian into our club. When it was Julia's turn to speak about Tom, she loaded her cannon with fuck bombs and aimed it at the audience. Julia's speech sounds like gorgeous music to my ears: (read it in a slurry, burpy voice) " Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita , and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck ?" Julia the went on to talk about Tom's illustrous film career, " I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers ], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! "You in the airport with the accent (she's talking about Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I'm wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you." Before falling off the edge of the stage in a drunken stupor, Julia told the audience, "It's so dark out there, I feel like I'm in space. Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams , are you here?" Julia Roberts is awesome for that. When did Julia Roberts become my auntie giving an impromptu speech about how much she loves her pet ferrett at Thanksgiving dinner after downing a whole box of Franzia? I don't know if that made any sense, because I think I got contact drunk after reading Julia's rant. You know that after she got home, she crawled into bed with her kids and practically suffocated them with her hot booze bref kisses! She slobbered on them and said, "I luuuuvz youuuz sooo soo mu-uuuch." I used to love when my mom did that. Seriously, Julia needs to do shit like this more often! UPDATE: And here's the video! Here's some of the hos who got to witness Julia's ridiculousness last night. | |
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