The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Chris Brown Is In Anger Management | Top |
| When celebwhores get a DUI, the natural thing to do is to send them to the tank for a few months, so they at least look like they're trying. So it makes sense that when a dude delivers a massive beat down on a ho, you send him to anger management! That's what Chris Brown's crisis management team has done. The NYDN says his pr whores think the mob of Brown haters might calm down a bit if Chris finishes an anger management. The smack up heard around the planet has fucked with Chris' money, so he's trying to look better to the public. Chris' first class was on Monday in Glendale, CA and he reportedly wants to get in a few more before his March 5th court date. Friends of Chris chirped in that he's not the only one who needs to hug a puppy and kiss a rainbow. They say RiRi also gets the fire in her from time to time. They said, " It didn't help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked ." You know, we've all been in flaming arguments with bitches we're sucking on. One time, I even threw a boyfriend's cell phone into the gutter and that shit broke. Surprisingly, he didn't put two swollen horns on my forehead with his fists. Imagine that! And even when I told him that I gave one of his friends a handjob at Six Flags the week before, he didn't choke the fuck out of me. Restraint: It exists! Chris and RiRi also made the cover of three tabs this week! Star Magazine says RiRi might be knocked up. The National Enquirer says she is! Life & Style says it was self-defense. And I say BLAH! | |
| Morning Wood | Top |
| Kellie Pickler needs to put down the Botox needle and step the fuck away. And Phyllis Diller better sue her ass for copyright infringement - Celebitchy Whitney Houston can put down the shank for now - Vh1 Blog Kanye West will tell you that he has the power to put the hunger for ze cock on your tongue - The Frisky Since Kelly has been gone, she's been hittin' the Hometown Buffet. JOKES! - ICYDK From the department of NOT RIGHT: Rosario Dawson's mother is a pit licker - I'm Not Obsessed Sookie & Bill 4 EVER - Popeater This picture would be better if they were making out - Socialite Life Spoiler Alert! Marc Cherry really hates Nicollette Sheridan - SOW | |
| Blaaaaake Is Freeeeeeeee! | Top |
| Hide your crack rocks and stash away your pipes, because Blaaaake has been freed from the chokey! The drug dealers will be holding a parade later today in Camden to celebrate this joyous occasion! Let's all OD and do the heroin shimmy seizure in his honor! According to The Sun , Amy Wino's Blaaaake was released from prison this morning in Suffolk. He was originally sent to the clink last July for 27 months, because he bribed a witness in a trial. This past November, Blaaake was sent to rehab, but went right back after he failed a drug test. The Crackie of the Caribbean couldn't make Blaaaake's welcome party outside of the prison, because she's busy scaring off the tourists in St. Lucia. Instead, his mommy was there to pick him up and take him away. There's no word on where Blaaaaake is heading next. I'm guessing he'll show up in a crackhouse near you. And if you pick up a shell and put it to your ear, you can probably hear Wino screaming " Blaaaaaaaake" from St. Lucia. | |
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