Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

• STOP IT.
• Jon Gosselin Picked A Good One
• In Case You Missed It: Paula Abdul's Lip Sync Extravaganzaaaaaa

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STOP IT.	Top
Why does HoHan hate Marilyn Monroe so much? If HoHan loved Marilyn unconditionally, she would quit dragging her beautiful image through the gutter by posing as her over and over again. We all know what happend the last time . It wasn't pretty. I mean, Marilyn Monroe's body TODAY probably looks better than this trick. When you're trying to look like Marilyn Monroe, but only end up looking like Pamela Anderson after getting gang banged by a dozen sumo wrestlers, it's time to hang up your wig and give it up. Here's more of HoHan working the hardest she has all month at a photo shoot for Spanish Vogue .
Jon Gosselin Picked A Good One	Top
If you're a married semi-celebwhore and you want to get some coochie on the side without your wifey finding out about it, do a background check on your possible whore first. Make sure she doesn't have any skeezy ass friends or relatives that will sell her ass out in a quick minute for a dollar. Because stupid ass Jon Gosselin might not be in this situation if he did that first. He picked a real winner in Deanna Hummel. Not only did her brother yap about her business to UsWeekly , but now her ex-husband is trying to get a piece. Deanna's ex created a website using her name for the sole purpose of selling some fuck tape he made with her back in the day. Here's what he has to say: Hello world! This is a site owned by one of Deanna Hummel's ex-boyfriends. When I read the news about her alleged affair with Jon Gosselin from the show Jon & Kate Plus 8, I have to say I wasn't surprised. The Deanna I knew wasn't above cheating, even with married men, hence our eventual breakup. During our time together we made a secret amateur sex tape. It wasn't a hidden cam or anything, she was totally aware of the fact that I was taping. This has never been available to the public before. And it still isn't...yet! But I am shopping this tape and am currently in negotiations with sites like porn.com about selling it. If anyone is interested in making me an offer, please email me at sextape@deannahummel.com Hello World, does he think anybody will offer him more than an expired KFC Grilled Chicken coupon for this shit? The dick bag also has screen shots on the website and I am not impressed. They weren't even trying to make a tape worth watching! That skank still has half of her teacher's outfit on! That is my pet peeve right there. If you're doing sexy times in a bed, take off all your damn clothes. Even the socks. I can understand if you're busting a quickie in a church bathroom or under a highway overpass, but not if you're in a bed! Put some effort into it. Sex tape FAIL.
In Case You Missed It: Paula Abdul's Lip Sync Extravaganzaaaaaa	Top
Singing? Dancing? Paula Abdul lip-synched FOR HER LIFE on American Idol last night during her performance of her new single " I'm Just Here For The Music (And The Lidocaine). " It might have been the Theraflu/NyQuil haze I was in, but I found that shit HIGHlarious (punned on purpose)! Even Scott could see that bitch was lip-synching. I mean, I don't even think her lips were moving. But the best part is when she used two mics to get the lip-synching job done! The "little vicodin pill who can't " was already wearing a head mic and then she scuttled over to another mic and lip-synched into that. Did Mel Brooks write that gag, because it was fucking classic! So was that song actually. C-3PO sounded more human than that mess. You know Vicki the Robot is the real voice behind Paula's song. Vicki is the Martha Wash of the robot world. How many of you were hoping one of the dancers flipped her ass too high causing her to get stuck in the rafters? One of the dudes should have thrown Paula towards the judge's table, because she might have knocked Kara DioLEAVEALREADY in the mouth, finally unlocking her damn jaw! And I also loved Paula's final line before she left the stage, " Gentlemen, I'm just here for the music! " It is your duty to say that line every time you enter a room.

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