Saturday, May 30, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

The OctoCrazy Baby Whoring Fun Time Hour! Top
Just when I was starting to forget about the baby-holic with a uterus like a tenrec , she goes and does this! OctoMommy has proven that her pimp hand is stronger than ever! Octo will officially be coming to a Tivo queue near you, because she's just signed a deal for her own reality show! The show will come in handy when you feel like you need a reason to punch your private parts. Weeeee! Octo's attorney told UsWeekly that she signed a deal on Thursday with Eyeworks. He describes the show as a " quasi-reality TV series. " More like queasy reality series. Keep the Pepto-Bismol handy. He went on to barf, " Nadya and the producers are hoping to have an arrangement whereby several events in the children's lives would be filmed in a documentary series. One of the events in the children's lives might be their first birthday. They might be several shows aired during a year. There are all kinds of possibilities. It really depends on what the networks want. Her television program will not be like the Jon and Kate Plus 8 show. Nadya is looking forward to providing her side of the story ." Hey, it was only a matter of time before she was going to shine up those babies and put 'em out on the ho stroll. And this sounds almost like Jon & Kate! Instead of Jon, Octo's co-star will be the saggy, hairless, lifeless mound of excess skin that desperately wants to be released from her body. I should correct myself. This will be EXACTLY like Jon & Kate.
 
Hot Slut Of The Day! Top
Sergio Garcia - Fairfax High's 2009 Prom Queen ! Sergio, an openly gay student at the high school in Hollywood, CA, wanted to be a part of the royal prom court, but felt like the title of " queen " fit him better than the title of " king ." He says it all started out as a stunt, but it quickly began to mean something more to him. A few days before the prom, Sergio gave this speech to his fellow classmates: " At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen. Things have changed and it's no longer just about who has the most friends or who wears the coolest clothes. Sure, I'm not your typical prom queen candidate. There's more to me than meets the eye ." Sergio's homegirls spent the next week campaigning for his ass and it paid off. He beat out the girls and was crowned The Queen of the Year! Miss California 2010, here he comes!!! For John
 
Birthday Sluts Top
Devendra Banhart (28) Remy Ma (28) Cee-Lo Green (35) Idina Menzel (38) Wynonna Judd (45) Tonya Pinkins (47) Ted McGinley (51) Jake "The Snake" Roberts (54) Colm Meaney (56) Ruta Lee (73)
 
Trekkie Bukkake Top
Zachary Quinto stars in a mini-movie I like to call " Just A Regular Saturday Night For Tommy Girl." Although, if Tommy Girl had gallons of a white milky substance coming his way, he wouldn't be making constipated face like that. No, he'd be more like a dog to a water hose on a hot summer's day. Watch Spock get showered with milk in a video portrait by artist Tyler Shields . I don't know whether to change my chonies or eat a bowl of Cheerios. VIA OhLaLa ( Thanks Eric )
 
Spectacular Is Doing It For the Ladies Top
Earlier this week, a sparkly lightning bolt hit the internet and I don't think it will ever be the same. Spectacular from Pretty Ricky popped out the baby oil, slathered himself down, slipped into a pair of sexy red panties from the Mervyn's close-out sale and gyrated like someone put a q-tip in his ass. The purpose: Spectacular had nothing else better to do so he challenged other R&B singers to a grind-off. After a bunch of commenters said he looked like one of the glittery gays of YouTube, Spectacular responded to MTV , " Everybody knows I'm not gay. Them little tight man drawers ... I bought 'em to show off my cuts in my stomach. I wanted to show off my body. The underwear was for the ladies ." What ladies is he speaking of? The only hos I know who would bust panty pudding over this video have grey hair, wear Geoffrey Beene shirts buttoned all the way, spend their free time "just strolling" around truck stop bathrooms, have no less than 6 webcams in their home and go by the name Bob . For the record, Bob has a penis and not a vagina. Spectacular should've just said, " I'm just here for comedy relief! " Speaking of RELIEF, feast your eyes on this hot churning tub of butter who responded to Spectacular's challenge. A couple of birthdays ago, I made a wish that before I die I'd like to receive a face dance from Aretha Franklin's magnificent chichis. This is the closest I will ever get to that wish coming true, so I thank Keith for this. Now make that butter, because the bread is dry!
 
Aunt Jodi Is Behind This! Top
When is the community theater melodrama called Jon & Kate Plus 8 going to end?! There hasn't even been an intermission. Just when I'm about to get up to go to the bathroom and get a glass of something mind-numbing at the concession stand, another act starts! In this act, Aunt Jodi leaps and twirls into the Pennsylvania labor department to sing a weepy ballad about the Gosselin children crying tears of sadness whenever Kate makes them dance around like puppets. This moving performance causes the Pennsylvania Department of Labor to open up an investigation to determine whether or not TLC is violating any child labor laws. This never ever ends..... A rep for the Pennysylvania Dept. of Labor told People , " I can confirm that our bureau of labor law compliance is conducting an investigation as they do whenever they receive a charge. We're not saying that there was or was not a violation, just that we're conducting an investigation. " TLC responded with this: " TLC fully complies with all applicable laws and regulations. Jon and Kate + 8 is no exception. For an extended period of time, we have been engaged in cooperative discussions and supplied all requested information to the Pennsylvania Department of Labor. We will continue to engage the appropriate officials and meet any standards or regulations that are applicable to TLC productions. " I responded with this: " STOP ." Gloria Allred responded with this: " Why am I not involved? "
 
Saints Bleed! Top
Saint Angie was over on Long Island doing a stunt for that condiment movie when she busted her head and started bleeding between her eyes. STIGMATA!!!! TMZ says that God traveled down from heaven in an ambulance carried by the angels and healed St. Angie with just a touch. Before he flew away, they had a quick chat about the twin messiahs entering (SPOILER ALERT: and winning) the Scripps Speeling Bee next year. The movie's production company released this statement: " This morning while filming an action sequence... Angelina Jolie sustained a minor injury. As a precautionary measure, Ms. Jolie will be taken to the hospital and examined. Production on the film has resumed ." Basically, the Patron Saint of Everything is going to be fine. Shucks. You'll get her next time, Aniston .
 
Afternoon Crumbs Top
BREAKING NEWS: Kristen Stewart actually moves her face in the preview for the New Moon trailer. Yes, a preview of a trailer.... - ET Just when you're starting to think that there's no way Jessica Simpson could get any dumber - Hollywood Tuna Captian Kirk's mommy is sexing it up in a two-piece - Egotastic! This is so classy that it makes you want to drink tea with your pinky out (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather One of KFed's rogue sperm fishes spotted in New Zealand - Towleroad No giant chin baby for Gis Budchen and Tom Brady - Popsugar JLo and one of her twins..... - Just Jared A headline that will make you involuntarily celibate - Hollywood Rag Rachel Weisz has been nekkid in a lot of movies - Cityrag Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner are no longer. Don't worry if these names mean nothing to you, it's just because you are OLD - Lainey Gossip Did Haylie Duff have plastic surgery is like asking the question, " Did Tommy Girl clean his face with jizz this morning? " - I'm Not Obsessed Glamberace to recreate Gayken's " NO SHIT" People cover on Rolling Stone magazine - Socialite Life This it not my idea of some hot ginge action - Holy Moly! Megan Fox thinks Wonder Woman is lame. Wonder Woman could not be reached for a response, because she was too busy not giving a fuck - Popoholic A mannequin graces the cover of Harper's Bazaar Japan - ICYDK As long as Mel Gibson is coherent enough to sign the checks , OctoSana is happy - Celebitchy
 
The CAPTION THIS Contest For May 29th! Top
(Note: no dudes or campfires were harmed in the making of this photo) Thanks Veronica
 

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