The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Bat Out Of Hell! | Top |
| Kelly Clarkson performed at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango in Los Angeles this weekend looking like crusty Meat Loaf with extra bread crumbs. She's even got a pinch of Cojo in the face. Maybe right before her performance she walked in on Gaycrest waxing his glitter hole and she never fully recovered from that sight. I don't know. But I do know that Kelly needs to pour Adderall dust over those jeans and feed them to Paula Abdul STAT. Those jeans shouldn't have made it out of 1997 alive. And I'm mad at Kelly right now because that " My Life Would Suck Without Fooood" song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That's not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning. The first thing I want to be humming on is a.... Okay, I'll stop. | |
| Playpepaw | Top |
| Marty Ingles needs to stop! He's running around telling Page Six that his 75-year-old wife, Shirley Jones, might bare her partridges and prunes in Playboy ! Marty, who may or might not have the seniles, said, " She's still drop-dead gorgeous, and at the age of 75, a natural beauty. I'm her husband, and I think it would be sensational. Mature women are relevant. " If Shirley decides to pose in Playboy , she'd be the oldest piece to ever get nekkid in the magazine. Marty is not right for trying to whore Shirley out to Playboy ! Shirley should be making oatmeal cookies for her grandkids, not spreading hers in a magazine! And she'll always be more relevant than 99% of the young twats in Hollywood. If anybody in that family should be getting all their panties off for a magazine, it should be Marty. You know you want to see his shriveled worm in all its glory. Come on get happy (without Viagra), Marty! | |
| Why Would You Want To Tinker With This Precious Face? | Top |
| When Bruce Jenner got a facelift 25 years ago, he went from looking like a semi-hot-piece to looking like a Kraft single after being microwaved too long. Bruce blames it on a janky partial facelift and a nose job, so he decided to go back under the knife and fix his face. Bruce's third face will be revealed on that Kardashian shit show this Sunday. Kim Kardassian blogged about it , "Twenty five years ago, Bruce was ill-advised by a doctor to have a partial facelift and a nose job. Unfortunately, the result wasn't what Bruce had hoped for and for years since then he has been the victim of cruel taunts from the media. Since he's turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift . The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result." That's what they all say! Just one more surgery and I'll stop. You know Bruce isn't going to stop. In 10 years, his mouth is going to be where his nose is supposed to be and his eyeballs are going to be hanging out on the back of his neck. Bitch is going to look like Kiefer Sutherland in Freeway . Actually, he already does. VIA UsWeekly | |
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