The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Kanye West Is Mad At Twitter! | Top |
| I could almost feel Kanye West's MacBook Air breaking while reading his latest LOLrant about Twitter. Kanye slapped his peen on the CAPS-LOCK key and went fucking at it. Blink a few hundred times before reading, because it's been a while. (This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!! You know what my favorite part is? It's the beginning part in the parenthesis! It's like he's whispering to all of us before he opens his chest and throws his wrath down on the SQUID BRAINS at Twitter. Kanye is oh-so gentle when he needs to be. But Gay Fish is totally right. This is some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT and a FUCKING FARCE! Twitter should devote an entire department to this issue. And Mr. Twitterfucker himself, Ashton Kutcher , should head this project! The Twitter world should not continue to spin until all fradulanet Kanyes have been shut down. BECAUSE HIS CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!! And his ass is fucking CRAZY! | |
| RPattz Will Immediately Fall In Love With Her | Top |
| This is the gorgeous Casey Ray. Casey is a hairstylist in St. Louis and the other day she was hanging out behind the Chase Park Plaza Hotel waiting for her fiance to get off of work. While Casey was bringing the sexy to the back alley, she noticed something in the dumpster. I know you're wondering why she was looking in the dumpster. My guess is that she was searching for another dead animal to put on her head. I'm joking. She's what beauty is about. ANYWAY, in the dumpster she found a script for the Twilight sequel (all together now: WHERE IT BELONGS). Casey couldn't believe her beautiful eyes! Casey told Fox News , " When I opened it up and saw the character names: Charlie, Bella, Edward, I was just like, this can't possibly be what I know it to be." After calling her lawyer, Casey decided to turn the script in to Summit, the production company. When she contacted them, they were so touched by her goodwill that they offered her tickets to the premiere as well as an autographed copy of the script by the entire cast. If you happen to be at the premiere, you better stand back, because once Robert Pattinson lays his eyes on Casey, the world will explode. Hundreds of unicorns will fly out of his magical forest hair and slide down her peroxide rainbow. It will be love. It will be magical. It will be hairy. Since we're sort of on the subject of gorgeous reverse mullets, here's Casey's hair twin, Kate Gosselin , at Target near her house the other day. | |
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