The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Kanye West Is The Master Of Laughs! | Top |
| Oh, that Kanye ! He really knows how to keep the LOLs rolling through the internets. He should take his act on the road and call it the Delusional Kings of Comedy ! Kanye just loves to fart in his own hand, inhale it (it's like helium), hit the CAPS-LOCK key and then go fucking at it. That's what must have done today with this latest post , because this is a motherfucking crazy doozy. Kanye was commenting on some pictures the paps took of RiRi when he started to go into another world. Kanye went there and I really wish he hadn't. See what I mean: FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE! Was is it just me or were you expecting to hear a joke drum on loop, because the whole post is punchline after punchline! And you know that in the blog post in his mind he added: KANYE WEST IS THE NEW GOD!!!!!!!!!! Bitch can part the Red Sea just by hitting his CAPS-LOCK key! | |
| Kate Gosselin Is A MONSTER!!!! | Top |
| Damn. Did Kate Gosselin queef in someone's scrambled eggs over at UsWeekly, because they have it out for the bitch! They are raising their pitchforks and trying to take that cunt down! This week's issue really isn't anything new. It's all about Kate's grand cunty ways! It's nice to know that Cunty Kate was even a mega bitch before she got famous! One of Kate's former baby nurses, Angela Krall , said that before she was hired, the Gosselins had gone through almost 40 nurses in only 3 months. Angela said that Kate would fire a ho over every little thing. One nurse washed her hands in the kitchen sink instead of the bathroom sink and Kate dropped the bitch, because she said it was cross-contamination. Apparently, before Kate became famous, Medicaid paid for her nannies. The Associated Press reported in a story from 2005, "Kate Gosselin said she feels society has a responsibility to help with the children, since modern medicine promotes the use of fertility drugs, which can lead to multiple births." Okay, when are Kate and OctoMommy going to become besties forever, because they were obviously both cut from the same batshit crazy cloth (which comes in fuchsia or chartreuse)! Kate didn't only bring the cuntiness to the staff, she also treated her father like caca. When her father brought her cribs donated by his parishioners (he's a pastor), Kate threw them out. A family source (aka Jon) said, " They didn't match and Kate rejected them. " Kate didn't miss a beat and she quickly responded to all these claims to People : "Everywhere you go you're being stalked, you're being followed – it's hell, on the cover of a magazine. It's so scary. It's like one of those movies where you have to change your identity and go underground. I've been saying, 'Let's find a country where our show doesn't air, and let's just go there until this all dies.' I have to laugh about this, or else I'll cry. It's a matter of, when will they stop?" The best part is when she talks about her kids: " I don't want them dragged into this. It kills me. " Did she forget a little show called Jon & Kate Plus 8 that she signed them all up for? I love it when the pimp starts to shed crocodile tears. Why do I find Kate so hilarious?! An even better question is, does anybody ever fight back? It wouldn't be hard. All you have to do is all the ASPCA on her tortured possum hair, so they can throw a net over her head and drag her into a cage. Or better yet, just sprinkle some holy water on her and watch as she shrivels down into the sidewalk cracks. | |
| Idol Attracts The Crazies | Top |
| What's it about American Idol and the loons? Paula's stalker, Paula herself, Tatiana Del Toro and now this crazy bitch who tried to choke the caca out of Terri Seymour ? They should hand out ludes before every Idol taping, because some hos just need to calm down! TMZ says that while Simon Cowell's ex titty fluffer, Terri Seymour, was leaving the finale last night, some maniac came up to her and asked if she was Simon's lady. The crazy bitch then tried to get her hands on Terri's froat, so she could choke her ass! The coppers arrived and took the alleged choker, Janice Thibodeaux , down to the big house. 200lb Janice was arrested and is currently being held on $52,7000 bail. Janice's brother and sister told TMZ that she isn't crazy. That's exactly what my family tells people when asked what's wrong with me. But seriously, they knew that bitch was crazy, because she probably pulled the wings off of butterflies as a child. And why would I not be surprised if Janice Thibodeaux turned out to be Paula Abdul in a fat suit she bought at the Norbit lot sale? Janice Thibodeaux is the name she gives to her back alley pharmacists. | |
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