The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Lightweight | Top |
| And here I was thinking I broke the world blow job record that one summer, but I guess you need judges and cameras around to document the whole thing. Oh, well. Maybe next time. Blonde Cora , a German porn star, was officially trying to break the record when she choked almost halfway through and had to go to the hospital! The Sun says that Cora's goal was to blow 200 peens, but only she made it to wang #75 when she started having trouble breathing. Bitch blew it and not in the way she had hoped. This is kind of embarrassing to all us mega sluts out there. Most of us can suck 75 dicks at a time while watching a Melrose Place marathon and playing a game of Monopoly with our toes! And this bitch is a whore for a living! SHAME!!!! How dreadful! Even amateur skanks know you have to breathe through your nose! If that's not enough, find an air pocket in the dick hole you're sucking and breathe! Turn that dick into a snorkel! Breathe through your ears! Breathe through your pussay! Breathe through your asshole if you have to! Whatever you do, don't quit the dick! Her parents are probably so disappointed! | |
| Does This Mean Her Buh-Bees Are Going To Grow? | Top |
| I scheeve! I scheeve! Teresa from The Real Mob Wives Of New Jersey is knocked up with her fourth child! That's what a rep from Bravo tells People . Apparently, Teresa is almost 6 months pregnant with her fourth child. She has three daughters with her "juicy and delicious " husband who may or may not be involved in some kind of organized crime. I don't want to make any assumptions ( he totally is ), because I like having all my fingers. Having all my fingers is very useful to my life. Teresa isn't the only NJ housewife who is expecting a baby friend to dress up and take pictures of. SPOILER ALERT! Jacqueline is also having a baby sometime this summer. You know, I think Teresa might be my favorite, but I'm not sure yet. I think her hairline is throwing me off. I can't fully commit to a woman with a hairline like that. I just want to sneak behind her and pull her hair back! That hairline is a greedy ho, because it's taking up space on her forehead and you know it's not paying extra rent! Frankly, a hairline that low makes Teresa look a little woofy. But enough of that! Congratulations to Buh-Bees and I hope her new baby doesn't inherit her hairline. Although, I hope the baby inherits its father's luscious stomach dome ( Exhibit A ). | |
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