The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- SkinnyBot's New Panty Ad
- Yeah, This Isn't Creepy At All
- Which Rock Star Did Angie Jo Do Lezzie Stuff With?
| SkinnyBot's New Panty Ad | Top |
| Posh Beckham was at Macy's in NYC today to unveil this 20-foot tall picture that will terrorize the store. After looking at it, I'm thinking Posh has a lot of calls to return later today.... A starving marmoset called, it wants its face back. Two wrecking cranes called, they want their steel balls back. A science lab skeleton called, it wants its toroso back. Double Trouble called, she wants her whipping tail back. And finally, food called, its wondering when Posh is going to stop by for a visit. It misses her. | |
| Yeah, This Isn't Creepy At All | Top |
| If I was kissing my dad on the check and opened up my eyes to see a carbon copy of me looking back at me, I'd immediately run my ass to the bathroom and recreate the scene from The Legend of Billie Jean where she chops all her hair off in the mirror all emotional-like. Then I'd dip my head in a bowl of black RIT dye and take the next catamaran to a faraway land where no Hogans exist. I'm for serious. Look at Brooke Hogan and her daddy's girlfriend! Yes, one has 50% more non-biodegradable materials in her tittay area, but they could still be twinsies. It's not right and it's not okay. And you know Hulk isn't the only thing looking up and thanking the lord for this magical moment. Yesh, his one-eyed wang said a " thank you prayer " before it barfed into Hulk's panties. WHY?! Keep this shit under lock and key. Here's the " always good for the creeps " Hogans at Brooke's 10th annual 21st birthday party at Pure in Las Vegas last night. | |
| Which Rock Star Did Angie Jo Do Lezzie Stuff With? | Top |
| Star Magazine is trying to knock St. Angie Jo's sparkling halo off her head by claiming all sorts of scandalous shit in this week's issue. I think Jennifer Aniston might have been guest editor this week. Keep the Susan Boyle of America on payroll, because this is the shit I like to see. Star apparently squeezed the juice out of biographer Andrew Morton and Angie's old bodyguard Mickey Brett. Both of them are planning to write tell-alls on the pristine holy family. Although, Mickey denied this a little while ago (Maddox got to him!). Anymickeywillbestruckdownbytheendoftheweek, some of the shit Star alleges I've heard before. We've already heard zillions of stories about how St. Angie tried to destroy Jennifer Aniston. They really are the Alexis and Krystle of our time. And I think I read something about how St. Angie effed her mother's boyfriend when she was a teenager. Who hasn't done that? Yawn, moving along. But the one I really want to know about is which " female rock star " did Angie Jo hypnotize with her vagina of miracles? Mickey apparently knows all the details and is planning to unleash it to the world in his book. My first thought was Joan Jett. And then my hand was suddenly filled with vomit. After I wiped that up, my second thought was Gwen Stefani. But I can't picture her licking on hard clit. Then it hit me. VADGE! Now, I know she's not really a " rock star, " but she would make sense. St. Angie Jo only seduced Vadge to keep her from monopolizing the baby buying game. And if you're wondering what St. Angie Jo's hypnotic vagina and Vadge's roidy-puss look like bumping into each other, just watch Godzilla vs. Hedorah . | |
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