The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Cameroooon! | Top |
| Gatecrasher is saying that Cameron Diaz might be rubbing her crusty pizza face all over Adam Levine's nalgas. Does this mean their Hollytard couple name is Camerooooon? You know, because he's in Maroon 5 and shit? No, how dare I use the name of Chantal Biya's precious homeland in the same paragraph as these two twats? Their couple name can simply be Two Dumb Whores. That works the best. Anyway, some witness-types saw Pizza Face and Adam on a lunch date at Chateau Marmont the other. Cammy was bumping taints with Paul Sculfor (of Jennifer Aniston fame), but I guess she kicked his peen to the gutter and moved on to Adam. This would be the second ex of Jessica Simpson that Cammy is fucking on. The first being John Mayer . That means Tony Romo better keep Biore pads and Palmolive in his bathroom cabinet, because Cammy is coming his way any minute now. | |
| How Do My Goop Balls Look? | Top |
| Before signing on to do the movie Two Lovers , the biggest TIT of them all Fishsticks Paltrow had the director of the movie inspect her organic hush puppies to make sure they were okay for public viewing. The movie's director, James Gray , said Fishy called him into her trailer to have a look. James told The Sun , " Gwyneth told me 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favor, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great ." I hope Fishy will cover this in her next issue of POOP ! Need validation?! Ask some random film director to approve of your sloppy titty sacks so you can feel good about yourself. Peep at Fishy's mini-dumpling after the jump. Bring the tartar sauce and JUMP!!! read more | |
| Vintage Mother's Cookies | Top |
| I think I got jizz poisoning last night, because I've had the barfs all morning in the grossest way. You know what's extra disgusting? Whenever I've got the purgies, my dog comes around the bathroom, sniffing at me like the buffet is open for business. Why are dogs so shamelessly gross?! That is not right. Anyway, even though I'm feeling vommy, I'd still devour an entire tub of this Mother's Circus Animal Cookies ice cream from 1987. I didn't even know this deliciousness existed?! It's like the cream from an angel's vagina. Do you think I can buy some on eBay? Don't even tell me I should just crush down some cookies in vanilla ice cream, because that's way too much work. And just ignore Matt LeBlanc's presence. (Thanks Kazan) | |
| Dr. Drew, Come And Get This Bitch! | Top |
| Tara Reid just can't stop getting thirstay for the sweet sweet nectar. America's biggest wreck got out of rehab a few of months ago and I guess that shit didn't stick. Tara was in Cannes over the weekend looking like she just crawled out of an Andre bottle that was laying in the gutter for a couple of weeks. Even her weave tracks are trying to sneak out down below, because they are sick of her constant drunkery. Bitch's barfy weave looks like something Kim Zolciak's road kill wig farted up. Tara needs a rake and some Hazmat-made conditioner. And is it just me or does Tara's boyfriend-thing kind of look like Michael Imperioli's older and slower brother? | |
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