The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Save It For The Jungle! | Top |
| Someone must have fed Janice Dickinson vodka after sundown yesterday, because she went on a rampage outside of Nobu! Janice unleashed her claws at the pappies after one said she was a " distraction ." Janice meant to do some major damage, because she flashed her Janey's Got A Gun nalgas at them. Lenses shattered! Not only did drunk ass Janice have to worry about keeping her drunk barfs at bay, but she also had to make sure the pappies weren't getting pictures of her cougar chocha. Janice should know better by now and put a collar on it. As much as I love seeing Janice acting like this, she really needs to save her rage for the jungle. Janice is leaving for Costa Rica soon to film that I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here with Heidi and Spencer . I fully expect Janice to release her wrath on both of them until they are nothing but a puddle of liquid plastic on the ground. Then Janice will inject them into her lips (both sets, because that's how she does it). | |
| Bruce Jenner's New Face Doesn't Look So New | Top |
| On the left is a picture of Bruce Jenner last year, and on the right is a picture taken last month after he slipped back under the knife to fix his charbroiled mug . Why don't I see a difference? The new picture from Life & Style just looks like it was passed through the Photoshop machine for a quick minute, but his face kind of still looks the same. Okay, maybe he looks a little diffy. Just a little. If I squint my eyes and hum the theme song to Twin Peaks , I kind of see Kyle McLaughlin . Well, Kyle after a block of dry ice fell on his face. I mean, really! The surgery was unnecessary. If Bruce doesn't stop, his face is going to bust out of there. The same thing happened to Joan Rivers and look at her! No, that's not her real face. That's a re-purposed Madame mask . Bruce, just quit that mess! You are beauty-ful just the way you are. Not really, but if that's what Bruce needs to hear, then I'll shout it from the highest mountain (aka Kim Kardashian's ass). | |
| Everybody Wants This | Top |
| The mystery surrounding Kate Gosselin's hair has been revealed. Sort of. No, it wasn't revealed on the season finale of Lost last night (although, I think it made a cameo). Kate told Entertainment Weekly all about it. When asked about sophisticated reverse-mullet, Kate said, " It's my attitude! Everybody wants it. It's work. I have very, very thick hair, so it's not going to work for everybody. I've seen people come through the book line with thin hair and it's just won't work. My hair stylist gets calls from all across the country. " Um. Little does Kate know that they are actually calling and begging for her hair stylist to chop off his (or her?) own fingers, so this fuggetry can end! Actually, that wouldn't really stop Kate, because her hair stylist could still cut her hair with his feet and it would end up looking the same. And who is this " everybody " Kate is talking about? If by " everybody " she means every piece of roadkill, then I stand corrected! And if you want Kate's hair, it's not hard to get! Just pour pig's blood over your head, wander out into the middle of the forest and wait. It won't take long before a pack of wild coyotes start attacking your head. After a few minutes, fight them off and you'll walk out of the forest looking just like a Gosselin! | |
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