The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| What Is THAT? | Top |
| Is that a belly button or did Chyna's (NSFW) mutant clit escape and take refuge on Kelly Ripa's stomach? I don't know whether to hiss at it or sit on it. | |
| Here Comes The Denials..... | Top |
| That didn't take long. Last night , UsWeekly posted some scandalous (not really) shit about how Jon Gosselin is creeping out on the mama je'e of his 8 million kids with a 23-year-old teacher. The brother of Jon's maybe mistress gave an eloquent interview to Us where he used the words " ick " and " nast " when describing his sister's fuck moans with Jon. Well, all parties involved have hit the old " deny " button. First up is Jon's supposed whore! Deanna Hummel tells People that her brother is a looser (that's how we spell it around here) who will lie for drug money, " My brother is making this all up. He has no credibility ... I can't even stomach the lies he's saying about me. My brother is very shady. He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He's on probation right now. He wanted to get back at me ... he knows he's getting kicked out of the house ." So what she's basically saying is that her brother will soon be sharing a studio apartment with Jon once Kate puts his ass on the curb. And what do Jon & Kate have to say about all of this? Jon tells EW , " It's really upsetting. I may be guilty of choosing the wrong time and place to hang out with my friends, but I am not guilty of cheating on my wife. It hurts me to see what it's done to my family, and it's scary to know that these tabloids are in town constantly following us and even paying locals large amounts of money to contribute to these negative stories. It's even gotten so bad that [one tabloid] has reached out to a youth pastor from our church, which in my eyes is completely unacceptable ." Kate added, " It's disturbing and unfortunate that these tabloids have gone as far as they have to try and bring us down. Jon's poor judgment and irresponsible behavior has also without a doubt caused some added tension and stress between the two of us. " Any bit of life Jon's nutsack had left was sucked out when Kate said that last part. I think I'm falling in love with Kate. I know most of the world wants to stuff her into a cage and leave her out in the sun all day, but I can't help it. She's such a fucking CUNT. With all capitals. Nothing warms my heart more than a major cunt who embraces her cunty ways. | |
| No Chicken, No Peace! | Top |
| Not since the great Popeye's uprising of two weeks ago , has there been a revolt this big over delicious chicken! As some of you may know, The Mighty Oprah handed down coupons for a free grilled chicken meal for today alone to absolutely fucking everyone! It has created CHAOS! I think a few dozen people already threw themselves out of office windows, because they couldn't get the stupid thing to print. And some whores that did manage to print out a coupon are getting SHUT DOWN when they go to their local KFC to get their chicken! Gothamist reports that at a KFC on 42nd and Madison in NYC, bitches have staged a sit-in after they were told Oprah's free lunch was no longer valid. One person who was there wrote in, " I went over to our nearest KFC a few minutes ago...and chaos ensued. Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken...or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought? " PETA is in their offices right now, laying back and jacking off to this. They are loving it. But seriously, over GRILLED chicken?! I could see if it was fried chicken, but grilled?! What in the eff am I supposed to do with grilled chicken? Stare at it?! Bitches are nuts. They should just go chew on a tire instead, because it probably tastes the same. You know who else is jacking it to this? OPRAH herself! It's the power of the O at work! Gayle is going to get it good tonight, because this has put O in the best mood ever. | |
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