The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Just A Regular Night: Lindsay Lohan Got Arrested For Punching This Woman
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For November 28th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- This Is What Happened When will.i.cant and Brit Brit Made A Song And Video Together
- Kelsey Grammer And Kayte Walsh Are Really Trying To Get That Parents Of The Year Award
- Night Crumbs
- From The Department Of Why: Butt Implants Gone Wrong
- Open Post: Hosted By Mimi's Christmas Chichis
- Demi Moore's Got A New 20-Something Piece
| Just A Regular Night: Lindsay Lohan Got Arrested For Punching This Woman | Top |
White Oprah better make room on her wall of family achievements, because here comes another mug shot of beauty from her daughter! Because it's been much too long since Lindsay Lohan has been in handcuffs and she missed posing for the mug shot camera, bitch got arrested in NYC early this morning for punching a woman in the face at a club. If it's morning time for you, then you can skip your morning cup of liquid caffeine by going to TMZ to get your buzz from watching the video of her perp walk. If it's afternoon or night times for you, you can still get higher from listening to her scream out to the cops, "Oh my God! Are you kidding me?" Oh, LiLo, that's what we all said on Sunday night are Liz & Dick. The latest chapter in LiLo's never-ending Party Heat episode of a life started when she and the woman above got into some kind of argument at Avenue in NYC. The woman was sitting in the booth next to Lindsay's and nobody knows what they were fighting about, but at one point Blohan said, "Give me some space!" TMZ's source says that the two stopped fighting, but a little while later LiLo punched the woman in the face for whatever reason. Somewhere up in heaven, Elizabeth Taylor is screaming at God, "Youdammit! I told you to use your powers to make that lady punch LiLo in the face for fucking me over. Not the other way around!" The cops were called, but by the time they showed up, LiLo was already making her getaway in a car. The cops eventually found the car LiLo was in and arrested her ass. She was booked for third degree misdemeanor assault and released a few hours later. In LiLo's defense (and bitch is totally going to use this in court as her defense), she was at Justin Bieber's concert earlier in the night and listening to that baby yodel will make anyone want to randomly punch a trick. | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For November 28th! | Top |
After one too many bleachings, Kim Kartrashian's anus had enough and walked out. - Johnny Boy Runners-up: The Sluggie: for when you're too high to worry about arm holes. - fosho Memoirs of a Gusher - TexnDoc Lil Wayne's sperm is so fertile by the time he takes his condom off he has a baby growing out the end. - Whamo Sometimes, even Jon's Hammaconda needs some "Me" time. - Hello Kitty Ho Stroll via Neatorama | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| lvroper1959, a cougar chanteuse who is crooning her way to a restraining order. Demi Moore and Madonna better pull out their notepads and pens and take note, because this is how you woo a young piece. Or maybe I'm confusing "woo a young piece" with "make a young piece get ADT for his dorm room." 19-year-old Johnny Manziel (aka Johnny Football) plays football for Texas A&M and apparently he might win the Heisman. Johnny Football hasn't won the Heisman yet, but he has won the heart of this Texas rose. The writers of "Johnny Angel" have never been prouder, because Johnny's #1 fan has reworked their song into an ode for her favorite college freshmen football player. Every time Johnny makes the football fly, she gets the tingles. And why do I have a feeling that from now on whenever Johnny hears finger snapping, he's going to get the scared shakes and start looking for the nearest exit? via Deadspin | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Jackie Stallone (91) | |
| This Is What Happened When will.i.cant and Brit Brit Made A Song And Video Together | Top |
| Here's the video for will.i.am and Brit Brit's song "Scream & Shout" and this commercial for a million products is better on your ears if you hit the mute button. Brit Brit is arm dancing like she's never arm danced before! I hope she had at least two 5 minute breaks during the 20 minutes it took to shoot this video, because all that arm dancing looks exhausting. Even though bitch ain't got no brows (Note: Seriously, they couldn't cut pieces of her weave off and use 'em for brows?), she hasn't looked this hot in a long time and that's mainly because she looks like a drag queen Linda Evans as Barbarella. And Brit Brit's messed up BRITish accent tells me that even she would've made a better Elizabeth Taylor than Lindsay Lohan. | |
| Kelsey Grammer And Kayte Walsh Are Really Trying To Get That Parents Of The Year Award | Top |
Kelsey Grammer and his child bride Kayte Walsh got a little hate a few weeks ago for taking their 3-month-old baby Faith to a Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion. Kelsey said that Kayte is breastfeeding and they don't have a sitter, so Faith goes everywhere they go. I didn't think anything of it, because Faith wasn't the only baby at the Playboy Mansion. A drooling, breast-obsessed mound of human wrinkles owns the place. I'm sure Faith and Hef got burped next to each other. Kelsey and Kayte are getting more hate today, because they drove away from LAX without putting their baby in a car seat. TMZ has video of Kayte and Kelsey getting into a chauffeured SUV. Kayte realizes that there's no car seat in the backseat, but she gets in anyway and holds the baby in her arms as the SUV drives away. Kelsey's rep went out to the farm, found a bull, fed it a bowl of beans and patiently waited until it shat out this explanation:
This reminds me.... When I was 4 or 5, my dad let my sister and I take turns sitting on his lap while he drove the car. People who pulled up next to us would wave and they all thought it was real cute. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad took a nap behind me and let me actually drive the car. He was lazy! I bet if I was actually driving the car while smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer and writing a letter (aka the original texting) at the same time, people still would've been like, "Awww, how precious!" Don't you miss the early 80s? | |
| Night Crumbs | Top |
We get it, Jared Leto, we get it. You shaved off your brows and lost some weight for that movie. You can stop sucking in your stomach so hard that you look like an actual bookworm. Dude looks like he should be slithering out of an apple - ICYDK Brad Pitt is talking to People Magazine now - Lainey Gossip If Bobbi Kristina Brown and her adopted brother can't make it work, none of us can - The Superficial And Bobbi Kristina Brown just drove her car off an embankment - TMZ Mitt Romney joins Amanda Bynes, Michelle Obama and Hulk Hogan as some of the most least influential people of the year - Towleroad Didn't Faye Dunaway wear this in Supergirl? - Hollywood Tuna In other words, TMZ is Team Halle Berry and Radar is Team Gabriel Aubry - Celebitchy Adriana Lima is pregnant and clothed in the 2013 Pirelli calendar - Drunken Stepfather The newest set of pictures in the never-ending "Hilary Duff Walks To Her Car" series - Popoholic If you scroll down to the third picture, you'll see that Cosmo used the "strung out junkie" Photoshop tool on Carly Rae Jepsen - The Berry Shia LaDouche in la jorts - Popsugar Entertainment Weekly does Mama June wrong by giving Ben Affleck her title - Just Jared The city of Dallas should pay tribute to Larry Hagman by wrapping that green building in giant hairy eyebrows - SOW Adam Levine is a diva - IDLYITW The Facebook Profile Picture Prankster has a lot of time (wigs, spare butts and props) on his hands and we should be grateful for that - Crunk + Disorderly Lisa Robin Kelly is still a messy, messy mess - Hollywood Rag Pussy and lamb love (not a Mimi porn post) - Cityrag A.J. McLean is a dad again - I'm Not Obsessed | |
| From The Department Of Why: Butt Implants Gone Wrong | Top |
| Some days I really regret going onto the wonderland of beautiful foolery known as The Daily Mail and today is one of those days. Today they have a video from World Star Hip Hop of a woman playing with the Simon game in her ass. Did we not learn anything from The Floppy Ass of '07 or the Fix-A-Flat Ass of '11? No, a butt bag full of silicone isn't supposed to do that. As much as this terrifies me, I'm going to try to look at the positive. If the "butt cheeks permanently pressed up against a glass window" look every becomes a thing, homegirl can say that she started it. And if you're ever lying next to her at the beach, you can flip her ass implant around and use her butt as a table for your beer. Yes, her nalgas look like a pig snout, but sometimes having an end table ass is a good thing. And her ass still looks better than Kim Katrashian's ass. | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Mimi's Christmas Chichis | Top |
I never know when it's okay to start rolling out super annoying Christmas shit. Stores start playing ear-torturing Christmas song in October and that's not right. Your neighbor probably threw Christmas lights on their house three weeks ago (or if you're related to me, you keep your Christmas lights up all year) and that's not right either. Some say that it's okay to start farting out the holiday spirit the day after Thanksgiving. But I say that's it not Christmas times until Mariah Carey has shoved her yule tide titty balls into a holiday dress that's four sizes too small. Mimi does that every year and she did it last night before her performance at the Rockefeller tree lighting ceremony in NYC. Mimi's chest looks like a reindeer butt and that's mean it's officially the start of the holiday season! Tits beginning to look a lot like Christmas. | |
| Demi Moore's Got A New 20-Something Piece | Top |
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher still haven't filed for divorce from each other and a couple of tabloids say that she wants him back, and sometimes cuddles with a bottle of douche to remember what it's like to spoon with him. But Page Six says that if Demi is crying out tears for Ashton, then she's using those tears to lube herself up for fuck times with her new dude Vito Schnabel. Demi is 50 (cut to Demi kicking, stretching and kicking) and Vito Schnabel is 26 (in Lohan years, obviously). Vito is the art dealer son of painter and filmmaker Julian Schnabel, so he's around famous types a lot. Vito is also used to being the cub, because he dated Elle Macpherson when he was 21 and she was 44. A source says that Vito and Demi have been hanging out for a few weeks. Earlier this month, guests at a birthday party in India for Naomi Campbell's hot billionaire boyfriend all watched as Demi and Vito got down on the dance floor. The source said that as Diana Ross performed, Demi and Vito "were dancing and grinding all over each other, openly, in front of other guests." If you need a visual of Demi and Vito throwing down some sweet, sexy moves on the dance floor, then press play on a classic (you knew this was coming). Demi will play the part of Demi and Ashton will play the part of Vito. (If for some reason, you need a visual of a zombie having a seizure while red ants attack its armpits and b-hole, this video will give you that visual too.) I can't fully hate on this. Demi and Vito look good together, and that's mostly because they both look like root vegetables molded out of clay. They're also a good pair, because Demi can use her razor sharp cheeks to cut away any rogue hairs from Vito's perfectly pruned brows. | |
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